i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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