ugly people sure do ruin things
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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