ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
