brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
