Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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