Swine flu. Run for my life!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
