Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
