What a fucking waste of an outfit
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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