That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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