And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS