He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
