He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options