I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.