I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely