Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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