Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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