i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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