They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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