I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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