I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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