So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
