i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
