it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
