Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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