Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You can't motorboat a personality
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Alive.
So much puke
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
