I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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