i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
