Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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