At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
