one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we made out on top of his cat.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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