I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this just has baby written all over it
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
