Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
