Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
