the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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