Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
