Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
