How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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