the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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