I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
As shirtless as possible
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
