just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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