Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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