I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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