Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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