Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
