I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
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I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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