Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
