Im at strip club and am horny
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
