I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
