Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
