Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize