they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just googled if crying burns calories
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
