I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
