Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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