K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have fence marks all over my body
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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