Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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