He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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