I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
