So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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