took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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