I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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