like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just cut my nipple shaving
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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