So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
