Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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