Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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