Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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