she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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